Starving Artists: Cupcakes For Aislyn

When a band schleps all the way to your apartment to play some tunes, the least you can do is give them some grub that's a step up from a packet of Handisnacks. So, in order to convince ourselves (and others) that we're actually capable of cooking, we've been slapping on a silly apron and whipping up desserts and snacks for bands who come over for Couch Sessions. Halfway between chef-like hospitality and your mom's after-school snacks, here's our take on foods we make. The recipes aren't always ours, but the shortcuts most definitely are.

If there's one way to Ian Hultquist's heart, it's by being his bandmate, Sofia Degli Allessandri. But, if there's another one, I'd bet a handful of cash that it's by being a delicious cupcake. New to this whole Magnolia Bakery thing due to the fact that I dislike tourists, waiting in line for food and paying for something that I'm pretty sure my man Duncan Hines can provide for much cheaper, I caved to its sugary schtick a few weeks back and had been craving more ever since. And, after finding a recipe for Magnolia's vanilla cupcakes online, I'd figure I'd give it a whirl, because you could probably slather frosting on a turd and it would still taste good.

Turns out, if that turd just so happens to be a 'nilla cupcake you made yourself, it's especially good.

Magnolia Vanilla Cupcakes with Chocolate Buttercream Icing

(recipe adapted from MSNBC.com)

make 'em, bake 'em...

CUPCAKE INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 cups self-rising flour

• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

• 2 cups sugar

• 4 large eggs, at room temperature

• 1 cup milk

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two 12-cup muffin tins with cupcake papers.

I have no idea what cupcake liners do, exactly — can't I just spray the tins with non-stick spray instead? — but I'm too scared of fucking an entire recipe up, so I was once again guilted into using them. It's terribly annoying, because no matter how much work you put into a dessert, a paper cup with balloons or bunnies on it dumbs your baking down to the level of a fourth-grade birthday treat, but I guess there's no way around it. Sigh.

In a small bowl, combine the flours. Set aside.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter until smooth. Add the sugar gradually and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes.

You'll want to cream it for too long, but be careful not to. I'd suggest setting a timer for 2:30 and judging it from there.

Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the dry ingredients in three parts, alternating with the milk and vanilla. With each addition, beat until the ingredients are incorporated but do not overbeat. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl to make sure the ingredients are well blended.

This is terribly annoying and by far the fine print to a seven-ingredient recipe, so be warned. But, there's a reason they taste so good, and if it's from ten minutes of stopping, starting and scraping, it's worth it.

Carefully spoon the batter into the cupcake liners, filling them about three-quarters full.

There's not really enough batter to fill them a real three-quarters, so err on the side of less rather than more. I had to keep plopping batter between cups to even them out, and it took twice as long as it should have.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted into the center of the cupcake comes out clean.

You're done!

Cool the cupcakes in the tins for 15 minutes. Remove from the tins and cool completely on a wire rack before icing.

CHOCOLATE BUTTERCREAM ICING INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

• 2 tablespoons milk

• 9 ounces semisweet chocolate, melted and cooled to lukewarm (we used milk chocolate. whatever you've got will work.)

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• 2 cups sifted confectioners' sugar (aka powdered)

To melt the chocolate, place in a double boiler over simmering water on low heat for about 5-10 minutes.

Don't panic. You don't need a fancy "double boiler" or whatever to melt chocolate. A stainless steel bowl sitting above a pot works, or our poor man's solution — a small saucepan balancing above a larger saucepan filled with water — works well too. Whatever you do, don't use the microwave. Trust me. Lots of hardened chocolate, lots of elbow grease to get it off.

Stir occasionally until completely smooth and no pieces of chocolate remain. Remove from the heat and let cool for 5-15 minutes, or until lukewarm.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, beat the butter until creamy, about 3 minutes. Add the milk carefully and beat until smooth. Add the melted chocolate and beat well, about 2 minutes. Add the vanilla and beat for 3 minutes.

I...have no advice to offer for this one. I was preoccupied with licking icing off my fingers.

Gradually add the sugar and beat on low speed until creamy and of a desired consistency.

Be stingy with the sugar and taste-test after each 3/4 of a cup. The original recipe required a 1/4 cup more of sugar, but to avoid the downfall of making homemade frosting — having it taste like powdered sugar instead of chocolate — keep trying it until it reaches the flavor you like. Ice 'em up, add sprinkles, and you've got this:

 

Cupcakes fit for a band!

Report Card:

Ease: C+. Not impossible, but even with a KitchenAid mixer, this got to be a pain in the ass.

Taste: A-. Should have used semi-sweet chocolate, but we were already thinking about seconds while we were finishing our firsts.

Bellies Fed: B.  We had enough to feed all of us that afternoon and some leftover for Aislyn to take home, but we weren't dealing with cupcake overload by any means.

//

Magnolia Cupcakes Recipe at MSNBC

Couch Session: Aislyn